A week in my life

Monday, Aug. 27: Our surprise team-building outing at work turned out to be an afternoon at the Five-Star Family Fun Park in Pooler, which I had never visited. We ate pizza, drove go-carts, and played nine holes of mini-golf before we all wilted in the mid-90-degree heat/90% humidity. Loved the go-carts, which I'd never driven before (except mine wouldn't go as fast as some of the others did and I am a bit more competitive than I realized). Enjoyed the mini-golf, but, being me, managed to step in a fire ant hill on hole 7. Noticed nothing until multiple burning pinpricks lit into my foot all at once, at which point I looked down, gasped, and did the ants-on-me dance. Went home and slept. Mildly sunburned.

Tuesday: Woke up with surprisingly no evidence of the fire ant bites. Had a teeth-chatteringly high fever by noon. By evening, the bites were itching, burning welts. Knew work next day was not going to happen so stayed up until 3 a.m. finishing The Ruins by Scott Smith.

Wednesday: Called in sick and stayed home nursing fever. Foot was slightly swollen, even though I had fewer than 10 bites.

Thursday: Back at work, still running low fever, bites starting to subside. Fever finally gone by evening. Go to Target and buy three bookshelves, then have fun cramming them into car.

Friday: Get caught by traffic camera at White Bluff and Abercorn, running red light. %^$#! Go to Savannah Mall, visit bookstore, have lovely experience. Visit very cool store called Soap, which is owned and operated by an Asian woman who mixes all the soaps, candles, and incense herself on the premises. She also has much Asiana, such as fans. Proceed to Target, buy five more bookshelves, decline all offers of assistance because I can do it myself, darn it! Cram them ALL into my Civic. Get home, start pouring a bowl of Frosted MiniWheats. Think, why does it look like there are small bugs running around in my cereal? Why, because there ARE small bugs running around in my cereal! Discover trail of sugar ants from window into cabinet, right into Frosted MiniWheat box. Throw the box into fridge, rinse out bowl, wash tainted cereal down disposal, do the ants-on-me dance.

Saturday: Raining. Put on "Black Celebration" by Depeche Mode, light candles, read, all lovely and relaxing. Eventually decide to be productive, go into garage, see water seeping in, including around the bases of boxes that still contain books. @#$%^! Empty boxes, carry armloads of books into house. Carry six bookshelves upstairs, assemble. Carry books upstairs. Notice sugar ants have adjusted trail from window sill into disposal.

Sunday: Carry futon from garage into house, wrestle upstairs (by MYSELF! YES! I am STRONG!). Air out garage. Clean garage up in anticipation of new stuff.

Monday: Wake up, call Home Depot to reserve truck, go get truck. Crazy woman behind me in line asks if she can "ride with me." She wants to use the truck too; can we share and split the cost? Uh, no. Meet up with college student helper, who turns out to be fabulous. Go pick up new free washer, dryer, sofa, and armchair. Load into truck. Drive to my house, unload W/D in garage and furniture on lawn. Return truck. Wrestle sofa and armchair through front door and into living room BY MYSELF, THANK YOU. (Helper would have helped; I declined. Because I am STRONG and STUBBORN and sometimes NOT VERY BRIGHT.)

Tuesday: Buy Fade his rat before he eats Sadie, because he seems about ready to (if she doesn't get him first, which is the more likely option). Fade decides he doesn't want to eat the rat. So now I have a rat living in a big RubberMaid container. Worried first that it might escape, then decided more accurate worry was that Sadie would figure out how to remove the RubberMaid lid and kill the rat. Rat is now in closet. Azrael and Nightshade are in new, very autumnal looking tank, much taller than their plastic shoebox, meaning I can drop in crickets without danger of them climbing out and/or getting close enough to sting me. I decided care is required. I don't want to die of anaphylactic shock from baby scorpion bites, after all. Move bookshelves around, situate futon.

Wednesday: So far, eat six brownies at work because I CAN because I have gotten so much exercise. Seriously. My face looks skinnier than it has in ages. Anticipate serious sugar crash.